i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
