I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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