Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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