Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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