You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Randomize
