At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
