Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
