If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize