Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
