Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
