I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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