i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
