i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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