dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
