R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I've blown a few things in my day
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
