Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
