i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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