she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
