I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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