If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
