I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
