I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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