This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
