how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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