SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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