i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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