Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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