I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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