i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
