i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
