I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
