Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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