sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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