5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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