I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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