It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Randomize
