so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Randomize
