I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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