I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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