Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
