Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Randomize
