screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
