reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
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