How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
