the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
