Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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