I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
