Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
