I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
