I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
