You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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