And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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