My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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