So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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