You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
