Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
