I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
