U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
