oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
