I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
