I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
