Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize